You can't be aware of every thought you have. You are greatly influenced by thoughts you don't even realize you're having. Some of these are not even true - more temporary, innocent misunderstandings.
Many of these tricked me as a moody teenager, and it got even harder in my younger adult years. Despite my Mom's infinite and obvious love, her misunderstandings polluted a stream we were both trying to swim in.
That means we were both unaware of how her untrue and unhelpful thoughts normalized and reinforced my own untrue and unhelpful thoughts. Like fish, we didn't know we were swimming in a sea of thoughts, and we certainly didn't realize we were contaminating it.
All these years later, I know she was doing the best she could, based on her understanding and awareness at the time. That's also true for me, both then and NOW, plus you and your kids, always.